Writing a Speech for a Civil Partnership or Same-Sex Wedding

Civil partnerships and same-sex weddings each bring their own considerations for wedding speeches. While civil partnerships are now available to all couples in the UK, and same-sex couples can choose either marriage or civil partnership, the speech-giving traditions at these celebrations often break from conventional patterns. This gives you room to create something that fits the specific couple and their day.

If you're struggling to find the right words or structure for your celebration speech, you might find it helpful to try our free Speech Writer.

There's no fixed rule about who speaks at these celebrations. Some couples follow something like the traditional wedding format, while others design their own approach entirely. The key is working out what feels right for the people getting married or entering a civil partnership.

Who gives speeches?

Both partners might speak, just one, or neither. Parents often want to say something, regardless of which child is getting married. Friends take on various roles: best person, person of honour, or simply as someone close to the couple.

The traditional father-of-the-bride speech doesn't translate directly when there's no bride, or when there are two. Parents tend to focus on their child's happiness and welcoming their new son- or daughter-in-law into the family. It becomes less about tradition and more about connection.

Best man and maid of honour roles often become "best person" roles. The job stays similar: share stories that show why these two people work together, get some laughs, maybe a few tears, and lead a toast. Just leave out the tired stereotypes about marriage that were barely funny in the first place.

Getting the language right

Small language choices can make a big difference. If you're not sure whether to say husband, wife, spouse or partner, listen to how the couple refer to each other and follow their lead. When speaking about them as a unit, "the couple" or "these two" works well.

When addressing parents, "your child" can be more inclusive than assuming "your son" or "your daughter," especially if family dynamics are complex. But again, take your cues from the family. If everyone's comfortable with specific terms, use them.

Jokes that depend on "men are like this, women are like that" tend to land badly at any modern wedding, but they're particularly out of place when a couple is already redefining what marriage looks like. Focus instead on what makes these specific people funny, touching, or memorable together.

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Navigating family complexities

Not every family arrives at a same-sex wedding or civil partnership with the same level of enthusiasm. Some relatives might have needed time to adjust. Others might be absent. As a speaker, you don't need to pretend these realities don't exist, but you also don't need to spotlight them.

A simple acknowledgment often works well: "Seeing everyone here celebrating with James and David means the world to them." Then shift the focus to the celebration at hand.

If there's been a genuine journey toward acceptance that feels relevant to mention, keep it brief and focus on the positive outcome. "Watching Dad come to know and love Maria has been wonderful" says enough without dwelling on what came before.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Building your speech

Start by introducing yourself and explaining your connection to the couple. Then move into the main body of your speech with stories and observations. Finish with good wishes and a toast.

For the main section, consider including:

• Their meeting (particularly good if you witnessed it)
• When you realized they were right for each other
• How they've influenced each other
• Shared adventures or memorable disasters
• What their relationship has taught you
• Why they work as a couple

Make your stories specific. Rather than calling them "adventurous," tell the story about them getting lost hiking in Wales and somehow turning it into the best day of their holiday. Rather than saying they're supportive, describe how one coached the other through a career change or marathon training.

Practical preparation

Write your speech out in full. Wedding emotions can derail even confident speakers, and having notes means you can maintain eye contact while still finding your place if needed.

Read it aloud and time yourself. Five to seven minutes usually works well. Practice in front of someone if possible, or record yourself. This helps you catch phrases that sound fine on paper but feel awkward to say.

The GreatSpeech Speech Writer tool can help if you're struggling with structure or need prompts to unlock memories and observations about the couple.

Your main goal is celebrating the couple, not showcasing your wit. Genuine affection for the people you're talking about will resonate more than the cleverest wordplay. If you're unsure whether a joke or story is appropriate, it probably isn't. There's plenty to celebrate without venturing into uncomfortable territory.

Whether it's a civil partnership or marriage, same-sex or opposite-sex, the heart of any good wedding speech remains the same: showing why these two people belong together. The fact that some traditional templates don't apply just gives you more scope to create something that genuinely reflects the couple standing in front of you.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Speech Writer lets you tell us the occasion and a few details about the person or event, and get a complete personalised speech ready to practise and deliver. Works for weddings, funerals, work events, and more. Try it now →